Suicide is so personal, isn’t it? That’s one reason why attention to ‘celebrity suicides’ seems so odd. I grew up with a manic-depressive mother, who made many attempts on her life over the years. Ironically, Nancy lasted till 90 and died last February 2018 — but I always lived with the possibility that she could and would end her life at any moment.

My second son’s biological father hanged himself about ten years ago in his bedroom –where we had conceived my son — and where the man left himself hanging for another of his sons to find him on his own birthday.

My first cousin died on Valentine’s Day due to an overdose of pills and alcohol. His father had died by asphyxiation decades before — sleeping in a car in the garage on a Vermont winter night. Never knew if it was intentional or not.

In my daily research on women, I discover many who have taken their own lives. After the two most recent public episodes, I wrote this piece to speak to my own feelings and experiences with this issue.

Suicide: In Truth

There are so many times
I’d have loved to end it all.

But, in my rock-bottom heart,
I do not believe in suicide

as any kind of kind solution.
Why leave others with endless

days of pain and misery because
you wouldn’t share your own?

Share who you are as you are —
reveal yourself to another soul.

Speak out your inner angst —
as well as any angelic joys!

Let others know who you are —
or at least want to be — before

departing, depriving us of your
divinely vaulted, faulted being.

Do not leave us — grieving!
The loss of your spirit-soul

diminishes us and all others.
Hold on to the thinnest thread!

Call out — and call to us — so
we can all survive this — together.

. . . . .

spb 13 jun 2018